Over the weekend, I was at a beer garden hanging out with a new buddy and his girlfriend, whom I just met for the first time, when she asked me what I thought about soulmates. It was after midnight and we’d been drinking and talking about spiritual stuff. As I thought about my answer, she pointed to a random guy and said, “What if that guy over there is my soulmate, should I just up and leave and be with him?” To which her boyfriend was like WTF?! but we laughed about it because we knew she was joking (air quotes, ‘joking’).
My subconscious mind wanted to give her society’s standard answer—how there’s one person meant for us in the entire world, but my eternal soul (the one hiding beneath my organic spacesuit, a.k.a. my “human body”) wanted to give her a completely different answer. So I let that guy speak:
“You’re talking about soulmates in the romantic sense, like what we see in movies, hear in music, how we expect someone to ‘fulfill’ us and make us ‘happy,’ but I don’t believe in soulmates in that sense. I believe we have many people in our lives who help us at various stages in our lives, I believe this is what soulmates are. And technically, everyone could be our soulmates since we’re all capable of love.”
1.) I couldn’t believe I said that, and 2.) it made sense because it’s hard to image that there’s just one person who’s only destined to be with us. Not saying that society’s definition of soulmates isn’t possible—if you’ve found that one person then great!—but for the rest of us, we may never find that person. Therefore, isn’t it reassuring to know that the many people who’ve touched our lives in a positive way are our soulmates? And if you’re in a loving, intimate relationship then this person can only compound and enrich your life on top of everyone else, even though your significant other isn’t your “soulmate” by society’s definition. This holistic, universal definition of soulmates makes us realize that we’re connected and have always had soulmates our entire lives but society’s longstanding definition has inadvertently made us feel more alone and inadequate than we would’ve thought on our own.
I’m going to talk about a recent soulmate of mine, someone I dated for the past two months who we’ll call Ashley (not using her real name to respect her privacy, although she does like this name). This story picks up the next night after my beer garden hangout: It was a Saturday night and we were sitting on my front porch, catching up from the last time we saw/talked to each other. There was a long minute of silence in the conversation…then she asked me, “What do you think about us?” I knew this was coming because I could feel it in the air—our emotions and life events leaves an energetic imprint on the universe, even possible future events, so I was definitely picking up on that.
We talked out our thoughts and feelings and agreed that we’re better off as friends. It wasn’t a sad discussion—on the contrary! It was a “happy-emotional” discussion because we have nothing but respect and admiration for each other. When you have a thing for someone’s voice (I love her accent, she loves my deep voice) and enjoy talking and listening to them for hours, a discussion like this can only be positive.
*I think I’m going to note here that she’s from the East and has immense love for her parents and wants to be with them. They want to remain there, though, and she wants to remain here. It’s a dilemma for sure, and she’ll probably move back…Actually, now that I’m reflecting on this, I think it’s brave and heartwarming how she puts their well-being before her own, and I just hope that she or someone else does the same for her because she deserves it.
AAANYwho, going back to my story: After having our talk, we ended up talking for another hour and a half, during which she asked me about my thoughts on soulmates. Grinning, I told her about the previous night and my newfound philosophy. Ashley was hesitant to say something as she glanced out of the corner of her eyes, then confessed that she saw a tarot card reader before meeting me, who told her she’d meet her soulmate soon—a.k.a. moi. I contemplated that for a moment then realized her reader wasn’t entirely wrong if you consider my expanded definition of soulmates, and maybe this is what the reader was trying to say…?
We sat there in silence, gazing into each other’s eyes, unsure what to do or say…Then I decided to say my favorite words, words I often say to strangers/people I make a connection with: “Can I hug you right now?” Without answering, we rose up and embraced each other tightly. As I rested my chin on the top of her head, I could feel her energy radiating beneath me, with our lungs expanding and contracting…Then something weird happened: I became overwhelmed with a unique feeling that I can only describe as a “premonition,” not a visual one, though, just a premonition that I could only feel from the heart. And this premonition caused me to smile and choke up a laugh through my nose.
“What?” she whispered. I tried to think of the right words to say as I shook my head and smiled, until I was finally able to say, “This is it. This is when you start the beginning of your life, when you discover who you are, who you’re supposed to be! And I think the reason I exist is to tell you this.” I was having an enlightenment and continued with the widest grin possible:
“You’re not an accident…We’re not an accident…This universe is not an accident.”
We let that soak in, absorbing each other’s warmth, then she said underneath her breath, “I really enjoy listening to your soft heart beating” (meaning that in a metaphorical and probably literal sense). And we quietly continued talking about many different things, including how we’ll remain friends; we’d already purchased tickets to see an upcoming ballet and are still excited about going together and seeing that.
So no, this wasn’t a “farewell” night. It was just the beginning, the continuation of discovering who we are as beings in our infinite and loving universe. And I know that I’m one of her soulmates, just as she’s one of mine.
With a soft kiss to the forehead,